Nostalgia, You’re Giving Me All the Feels
Day 5 of 12 Reflections for the Holiday Season
This year, the holidays brought me a full-on nostalgia tour. While cleaning out my mom’s house after it sold, I came across a few things I couldn’t leave behind. Let the record reflect: my mom did an IMMACULATE job of preserving so many of my favorite things from my childhood! The things she thought to save… WOW!
I found the Scrabble 50th Anniversary Edition, which I promptly packed up to take home. Then, as I was boxing up photo albums, I spotted a picture of myself opening that exact gift on Christmas Eve in 1998. We were at my uncle’s house—he’s now estranged from the family.
So much has changed since then—the people in my life, the ones I’ve lost, and the person I’ve become. I haven’t played Scrabble in years, largely because it was one of my Nana’s favorite games. Growing up, we’d play it together–her, my mom, my brother, and me–our happy house of four. For years, I thought I’d be too sad to play it, so I didn’t.
But now? I think now of all the time I missed out on remembering those games we played together, because I was afraid of the feelings that might come up. I was scared of the grief. Not anymore. That game will be in rotation through Christmas and beyond.
I also found a doll my mom gave me for Christmas in 1997 and a box of three bears that my Nana gave me in 2003. I can remember opening both gifts so clearly and the stories behind them. Though they’re just things, they carry a piece of my history that I never want to forget.
All this to say, nostalgia has been showing up strong this season. At one point in my life, I would’ve tried not to think about what was, because it hurt too much. But now, I welcome it. All that I’ve loved and lost lives on in the memories of those different times. And I don’t want to lose those memories.
With all this swirling in my mind, I decided to write to Nostalgia and ask what it wants me to know.
Oh, sweet one!
It’s so good to see you finally let me in. For years, you’ve tried to keep me at arm’s length, worried I’d make the ache of loss too sharp to bear. But here’s the truth: I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to remind you of everything you’ve loved and everything that’s shaped you.
I show up in the smell of pine needles, the soft glow of Christmas lights, that tacky silver garland you loved so much, and in an old photo of a moment you forgot you had. I’m not just about the past—I’m about connection. To the people who loved you. To the dreams you had. To the joy that’s still in you, even now.
Here’s what I need you to know: I’m not here to hold you back or keep you stuck. I’m here to help you carry the best parts of your past forward. Every memory you love to remember, every face you see in your mind, is a part of who you are today.
You’ve lived so much. You’ve lost so much. And yet, here you are—still creating new moments that someone else will look back on with love one day. That’s the magic of me. I remind you of the roots you’ve grown, even as you stretch toward what’s next.
So don’t be afraid to feel me. Let the memories wash over you. Laugh at the silly moments. Cry for the people who are no longer here. And know that nothing truly loved is ever really lost—it lives on in you.
I’ll always be here when you need me. Not to make you sad, but to remind you of all the joy you’ve experienced and all the joy still waiting for you.
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